Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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