Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
