party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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