the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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