He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
