My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
