He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize