So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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