I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
