I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
