We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
