I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
