I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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