I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
