I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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