The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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