Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...

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(419): View more from Ohio

There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

(415): View more from California

No.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard

(732): View more from New Jersey

That's a sexy sentence

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