This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I have post one night stand depression
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