i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize