there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
