You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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