No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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