He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
