I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
