dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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