I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
