I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
