Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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