Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
