This is not my ceiling
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
