My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
