im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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