my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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