there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
