I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize