And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
