Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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