don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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