I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
