I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize