he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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