Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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