Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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