Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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(453): View more from

apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

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(559): View more from California

my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding

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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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(903): View more from Texas

He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.

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