goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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