Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
