Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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