This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
