Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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