There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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