only if we run a train.
done.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
