the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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