Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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