Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
