I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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