That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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