every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
