I must be too annoying 4 u.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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